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Project Runway - 5.10

At last!  Real women strutting around in the designers' crap...er, clothes.

Average Joe bids farewell and I shudder at the thought of reviewing the schlock that oozed its way down the runway at Fashion Week.

Judging this week's sashay down the runway are our three regulars.  Heidi Klum has progressed nicely from "cheap" to "inexpensive" and this week she finally achieves the distinction of being "affordable" - she's got some tights on and that skirt is not as "womb with a view" as her previous outfits.  Madame la Duchesse d'Orange (Michael Kors) is proudly carrying the tanning torch that Blayne passed on last week by showing up sporting skin that is a lovely shade of papaya.  "Leetle Neena Garseeya" rounds out the Trio of Satorial Terror.

And lastly, Cynthia Rowley. 

Is she really as fabulous as Tim says?  Well, I for one, think that she designs strictly for the t!tless, which I am not.  See those high collars - they look very good on girls with breasts that are an "A" cup or less; you're pushing it with a "B" cup , and anything over a "C" looks like one huge boob-loaf.  Not good.  She shall be dubbed "Better Flat Than Fat".

The challenge was to design a work outfit for new college graduates and the grads will model these outfits instead of the regular designers' models.

The Pretty

Jerell - But only if you look at this outfit from the neck down because this chick is in serious need of a better haircut and some lipstick.  I like the high-waisted skirt because it makes the most of a woman's waist and hips and has a 50's flavor, which I personally find aesthetically pleasing.  The blouse is a nice complement to the skirt and good for the grad's bustline, while the sweater provides additional warmth (offices are set at 70 degrees Farenheit, which can be considered very cold for many women who aren't from cold climates or going through menopause).  I liked the shoes, too.  Not bad, Jerell.  I'm not a believer, but it was the best of what was available.

Would I Wear It? - Yes to the skirt and sweater, but  I'd choose a camisole over the top.  And I want them in black or charcoal grey.

The Ugly

Korto - I like the fabric, but I hate the cut.  The bottom of the skirt on this dress needs to hit a woman where she's most slender, not where she's heaviest.  It should be longer, perhaps calf-length, and a trumpet shape to make the most of this girl's curves.  Those shoes are also questionable because they are rounded at the toe and strap.  When you're a curvy girl and you lack angles, it's a good idea to try and make some with your shoes and that wasn't done here so it draws attention to the inappropriate length of the skirt.  The other problem is the cut of the jacket - it's the opposite of princess seaming and it makes her waist look massive.  The other problem of the jacket is the sleeve length, which is awkward.  Either a 3/4 or full sleeve would have been good, but this just-above the wrist length makes her arms look heavy.  This is a study in bad proportions - I'm disappointed, Korto.

Leanne - Here you see the problem with Leanne's point-of-view:  for a tall, slender woman, her angles don't look horrible, but for a shorter, curvier gal, they emphasize all the wrong things.  From the bottom up, those grey shoes are cute, but better suited to be worn under a pair of pants, not a knee-length skirt.  I like the skirt, but it's a piece of catalogue-wear that is wholly unsuited to the "high-fashion" crap that Leanne put on this young lady's upper half.  Real women who actually eat food (and consequently have breasts) cannot wear a jacket with half of a collarbone and those horrid sleeves and have any chance of looking professional or even decent.  There's no discernable waist and those buttons are the final indignity - big, roly-poly grey things that sit on her chest like over-sized metformin pills covered in felt.  I do not like this at all.

The Rest

Joe - He gets a b!tchslap for violating my latest dictum.  Booties:  do not pair them with skirts because they look butt-fugly.  Even more so if you do not use hosiery.  His auf'ing is acceptable for not heeding my warning.  The rest of the outfit is cute and I would wear it and rock it.

Kenley - I love the pattern of the dress, but the choice of shoe and the addition of the vest and sash do not work for me.  I would have preferred a jacket and those shoes need to have a much higher heel - they make her legs look heavy, which happens when you heel is too low and you are not wearing a long, concealing pair of pants.  Also, she needs to lose the hair ornament because it's ridiculous.

Suede - Love the shoes and the cut of the dress from what I can see from this angle.  I do not like the jacket.  A bold, graphic print needs an angular jacket, but this jacket is romantic in construction - buttons at the bust, frilly sleeves and much too long in length.  Not bad, Suede, but it could have been better.

Much love,

Green Owl



OMG I hate those damn bootie/shoes. Also, I hate the ones Heidi is wearing in the promos/intro. They look like booties from the front.

This style was supposedly "in" over a decade and a half ago. Didn't anyone learn their lessons?
Also, what are we feeling about Elina's make-over? At first I absolutely hated it because it turned her into a Kewpie Doll and took away the edge that had me salivating for her.

After the stylists did something different with it for the photoshoot, I got over it.

Still, I miss the dark, mysterious, dangerous looking Elina.
There are only two outfits in that entire bunch that I would consider "work friendly" (Jerrel's and Joe's). The rest are either bad or more suited to other environments. And those bootie shoes are so fugly. Why do people wear them!? urgh
The only one I can pretend to like is #5. I can't even HAVE opinions on the others.